Sunday, January 15, 2006

such simple pleasures

Us goblins come in many shapes and sizes.

We are able to squeeze and push and scrunch our bodies up in all sorts of ways. Lengthen arms and legs, shape bum on the run, bristle the scales on our toes and fingers. All sorts of surprising, mingy ways of getting under the skin of bigger critters in pursuit of pleasure.

But you will never find a fat goblin, unlike the people who officially inhabit this wonderfully rank office. To other goblins, a fat goblin is a food supply that tags along of its own accord.

These two, for instance, have just puffed themselves up for a spot of scaring in some medieval tenement. It works well on a cold Sunday night after the hell-fire preachers have scared the old ladies into fits and put the juices of defiance into the young ones.

The trick is to get onto the ends of the sleigh bed and just sit there, nodding rhythmically, with expressions of vague interest. It works best with a moonbeam reflected off snow on a freezing night.

Occasionally someone dies of fright. Best if they're in the wrong bed. Humans like to burn each other.


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