Tuesday, February 28, 2006

in which I accept some free transportation

Moliere characters

The Old Bugger has been out and about, going to a conference and a film festival. Rather than lurking here when he leaves, I have discovered that I can easily slip into his bike bag and go with him.

That is very good fun. We go into a cinema, I climb out and watch a film. If it gets boring, mostly when the humans decide to bond before chopping each other up again, I roam around the dark giving people little surprises.

Did you ever think your popcorn smelt of vomit?

The Old Bugger has been in a state of complete agitation about two screenings. He was all puffed up and self important because he was chairing filmmaker discussions. Unfortunately he is easy to flatter and can be a bit daft, so he falls for obvious traps. Like both of his films had disabled people in them and all the other smarties with the black St Kilda jackets smelt trouble and turned the opportunity down.

First film was about deaf kids, so the audience filled up with people who waved their arms at each other like a really excited football crowd, and could only talk with the light on. They had a signing interpreter, but His Highness kept getting very confused and trying to talk to people who just waved back, and waving at people who spoke to him very clearly because he was behaving like an idiot.

I knew the secret - the Old Bugger is deaf himself so he couldn't hear a word from the audience.

The next ego triumph for Ol Man Suckerbait was a documentry about Parkinson's disease starring a sick actor who got up on stage with the director. He has a gadget connected to his brain which stops him from thrashing around but means he can't talk. As a special treat for all of us he turned it off, so he could slur at the audience while his arms waved like a broken helicopter.

The Old Bugger was caught by that too, because he couldn't understand the slurring and didn't know if the audience could but I know they couldn't so they all thought it was just them and the chairman could understand and so it turned into some strange theatre where someone spoke gibberish and everyone nodded and agreed. Like Moliere.

Now there was a man with a goblin behind his dressing gown.

(Image from here.